Sirkin takes pleasure in having 7 men watch him hit the balls.

Without a single game lost, Dan Sirkin is your 2005 Mercer Street Invitational Champion. Sirkin defeated the Good Doctor Maya in front of a sell out crowd and grueling heat at the Mercer Street Ping Pong Center.

Make sure to tune back in this Spring when such Table Tennis All Stars as Sirkin, Berry, Rasmussen, and Maya will compete for the 2006 Mercer Street Grand Slam of Ping Pong.

Whole Glory

The First Annual Mercer Ping Pong Invitational Classic will commence tomorrow. Paddles will be wielded, Tensions will be high, Tempers will flare, and Clothing will be shed. These eight men will battle each other over seven glorious matches to decide who is the best Ping Pong player to ever grace the Mercer Rec Room with his presence.

Will it be the #1 seed, Mr. Sirkin? Will the young gun from the mountains of Colorado get a "Mile-High" and go on a cinderella run to the finals? We don't know how it will all shake out, but that's the beauty--Tomorrow is tourney time.

5 PM EST.

PS: We're going to try to web-cast this thing.

PPS: By "try" I mean "pretend to have some way to even begin to figure out how to web-cast this thing."

And the Number 1 Seed is...

In a game one playoff to determine the number 1 and 2 seeds, Dan Sirkin defeated the Good Doctor Mayo 21-15 as a good size crowd of german pool enthusiasts looked on. After falling behind early 8-2, Maya failed in his late game comeback attempt, and Sirkin took the highest seeding. Could have been the german selected R&B that was blasting which stunted the comeback, but Maya's inconsistent play didn't help either. Might this match be a foreshadowing of the finals? Only time will tell.

One tiebreak down

Mercer Street Residence- In what some termed the "calm before the storm," Eric "Pollex" Rasmussen defeated Eric "Eric Rasmussen" Berry in a lowly-contested tiebreak match to determine the third and fourth seeds for the upcoming Mercer Street Ping Pong Invitational Classic. Mr. Berry came out to an early 8-4 lead but Mr. Rasmussen took charge, going up 18-12 before finishing out the match, 21-15.

There's one more tiebreak to go, and voices around Mercer Street are whispering that it may well be a preview of the championship to come. Mike "The Good Dr. Mayonnaise" Maya and Dan "Eric" Sirkin will play Monday to determine the top seed. Will Maya's all-around good looks carry him to the top spot, or will Sirkin's nasty spin take the day? Only time will tell.

1/2 Sirkin/Maya
3- Rasmussen
4- Berry
5- Brish
6- Thorn
7- Peterson
8- Samuel

The first round matchups:

Sirkin/Maya Winner vs. 8 Samuel
4 Berry vs. 5 Brish
3 Rasmussen vs. 6 Thorn
Sirkin/Maya Loser vs. 7 Peterson

Round 2

Round 2 provided some intense action tonight, answering some questions and leaving some yet to be decided. Michael "The Good Dr. Mayonnaise" Maya proved to be the class of the "Arlen's Darlins" division, carrying a 3-0 record and not dropping a game. Eric "Eric Rasmussen" Berry provided a strong showing as well, dropping only the two games to the Good Dr. for a 2-1 record. Vincent "Bush" Thorn was a newcomer to the Mercer League and held his own, defeating DanChester Peterson in a closely contested match that included a no-pants performance by DanChester for the third game. Unfortunately, dropping his pants seemed to do more harm than good as he dropped the final game 22-20.

Recap:

Maya: 3-0
Berry: 2-1
Thorn: 1-2
Peterson: 0-3

Sirkin: 3-0
Rasmussen: 2-1
Brish: 1-2
Samuel: 0-3

This leaves some confusion for the commish, however: our tiebreakers only resolve the ties between Samuel and Peterson and Brish and Thorn. Peterson won a game against Thorn and Samuel lost all his games, so Samuel will be the 8th seed, Peterson the 7th seed, Thorn the 6th seed and Brish the 5th seed. However, the tiebreakers are unable to tiebreak for the top four seeds. Before the tournament begins, Maya and Sirkin and Berry and Rasmussen will have to play a short playoff to determine seeding. One game to 21 will decide it.

1/2 Sirkin/Maya
3/4 Rasmussen/Berry
5- Brish
6- Thorn
7- Peterson
8- Samuel

Rasmussen Bio

Eric "Pollex" Rasmussen

Raised in the schoolyards and vacant lots of urban america, the rec rooms and basements of suburban america, and the deep recesses of your mind, Pollex has a storied resume of balling. Baseball, basketball, foosball, racketball, wallball, handball, football, he would play any ballgame. But one day he and his troupe, the lovable neighborhood scamps, had no balls. They were gathered in Mickey's basement, lamenting their lot in life, when the lightbulb struck. Pollex saw a table, some scraps of wood nearby and a plastic hollow ball from his brother's last game of Beirut. Within minutes the first game of Ping Pong had been played. A champion was born.

Peterson Bio

Dan "DanChester United" Peterson

Dan take little seed, plant it, water it, and play ping pong for a whole year, and nothing happens.
The second year Dan water it and play ping pong, and nothing happens.
The third year Dan water it and play ping pong, and nothing happens. How discouraging this becomes!
The fifth year Dan continue to water and play ping pong and then---take note. Sometime during the fifth year, the Chinese bamboo tree sprouts and grows NINETY FEET IN SIX WEEKS!
Ping Pong is much akin to the growing process of the Chinese bamboo tree.
It is often discouraging. We seemingly do things right, and nothing happens. But for those who do things right and are not discouraged and are persistent, things will happen. Finally we begin to receive the rewards.
I am now receiving the rewards of seeds that were planted 5 years ago. You are as well. Are you getting the results you want? If not, begin today to sow the seeds of what you want 5 years from now. Remember, if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll get the results you've always gotten.
And thus, the sixth year Dan enter the Mercer Ping Pong Invitational.

PERSONAL DATA

Real Name: Dan Peterson
Aliases: Dark Knight Detective, various cover identities: "Matches" Malone, Sir Hemmingford Grey, Dan-Chester United etc.
Occupation: Multimillionaire Industrialist, Law Student, Playboy and Philanthropist
Marital Status: Single
Known Relatives: Thomas Wayne Peterson (father; deceased); Martha Wayne Peterson (mother; deceased), Philip Wayne (uncle), Jack Wayne (grandfather), Laura Elizabeth Wayne (great-grandmother)
Group Affiliation: JLA; formerly Justice League International, The Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacque Wamutombo Travelling All Stars, Outsiders, Justice League of America, The Reasonable Light Contact Flag Football Team, Theodore Unit
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 210 lbs.
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Blonde
First Appearance: 240 Mercer St #309b (August 2005)

Thorn Bio

Vincent "Bush" Thorn

Vincent "Bush" Thorn has led a relatively normal life. But things changed dramatically in 1997. While venturing through dense woods on a bicycle, he was captivated by the delightful smell of roses. In pursuit of this smell, his training wheels were caught in a thorn bush. Vincent was thrown from that beloved bike and landed a massive thicket of rose bushes. After hours of struggle to escape, he finally succeeded. Arriving home, his parents were shocked to find 5,403 cuts on his body - all of which he was unaware. It seemed, Vincent was changed. Indeed, it turned out so.

"Bush" developed an uncontrollable desire to become a pop icon rivaling Tom Cruise. He saw ping pong to be his one-way ticket to this fame. After 34 years of practicing on his basement wall, he was ready to compete. He quickly became the champion of Antartica. He now seeks to rule the ping-ponging crowd at NYU School of Law.

Beware of Vincent, for he is a formidable opponent. He draws incredible strength from wearing undergarments made of roses and thorns. The smell delights him, but distracts others. The undergarment makes him impervious to pain, but its sight makes others vomit violently Finally, his sacred paddle is lined with rose peddles, giving his shots a ferocious spin. Beware.

Berry Bio

Eric "Eric Rasmussen" Berry

Like all that are Berry, Eric "Eric Rasmussen" Berry was born from a descending ovary. His leathery, discertingly hairy skin soon encompassed pulp, which in turn bore the sweet seeds of the future. He grew up as a student of the Reagan administration, studying the classic game "Pong." He was eventually able to parlay his Pong skills into ping pong excellence by employing a unique 2-dimensional, overhead-view game-play that has confounded his opponents since the early '80's. Having eventually lost to opponents that worked a third dimension into their strategy, Eric has subsequently studied the tenets of Ms. Pac-Man. By luring his opponents into a false sense of security while sitting right next to the magic pill, he proceeds to eat them mid-game.

Brish Bio

Liron "The Shekel" Brish

The lobster lives a lonely, secluded life. Perturbed by the racial disharmony of his previous abode in the Jorgal coral reef, the lobster moved out into the open sea three weeks after a heated discussion outside his home that evolved into a violent confrontation between his sister and her two brothers.

So now the lobster lives alone on a previously uninhabited stretch of rock. The rock is about four feet long and two feet wide, just enough for the lobster to have a comfortable, homey living space. The only other inhabitants are several variety of zooplankton and one clam, but the lobster does not talk to either the zooplankton or the clam, and the clam does not discuss its problems with the zooplankton. It is a very quiet neighborhood.

Days have passed, moons have set, and suns have risen, and the lobster continues to live in his home. At this point he has named it Dargantua, and he was planning on having his first conversation with the clam and get its opinion on the name, but the clam’s mantle was closed. So the lobster gwauveled back to its crawl space.

It is now the afternoon and the lobster has decided to once again try to accommodate the neighbor clam in his life. Gwauveling outside, the lobster lets out a few short bursts of air from his rectum, ensuring that he does not have any awkward moments with the clam once they are talking.

But, the clam’s mantle is closed once again. The dear lobster, however, no longer has the patience for solitude. The lonely nights have created a tight belt around the lobster’s happiness, and every additional lonesome day squeezes the belt one more cinch, sometimes two, and last week it was actually five.

His menacing claws stretched above his head, his tentacles wistfully flowing through the water, the lobster belts out a menacing scream. His tail quivers and his legs shake.

The clam, awoken from his slumber, opens his mantle to see what the ruckus is all about. Outside he sees the damned lobster, the one who broke the clam’s near monopoly on the bank of rocks only a few weeks earlier.

“I miss you,” bellows the lobster.

“I as well do not miss you,” retorts the clam.

Samuel Bio

Ian "Mile-High" Samuel

The Rocky Mountains are the home region of Ian "Mile High" Samuel. More than just the inspiration for his nickname, they are also the One True Source of his power, lending the strength of peaks, and the fertility of valleys. He was trained in the art of ping pong by the foremost ping-pong player to ever come from the region, "Wild Bill" Elway, the third cousin of football god John Elway.

"Big-city play is nothing compared to how we do it in the Wild West," Samuel often remarks. "Out there, there are tiny bombs in the ping-pong balls which explode and kill anyone foolish enough to topspin."

The high-oxygen, low-altitude play of New York has been challenging for this competitor so far. But few doubt that he is the greatest ping pong player on the face of the Earth.

Maya Bio

Michael "The Good Dr. Mayonnaise" Maya

What comes to mind when you think of Mayonnaise? Stickiness, unpredictable flavor, unprecedented aggression on the palate, an uncanny ability to turn disgusting in the sun? Well, all of these apply to the one known as the Most Excellent Dispenser of Mayonnaise, especially when it comes to Ping Pong. The Good Doctor's shots stick to the table when no one believes they will, and the incredible force he brings to bear upon his opponents ever so closely resembles that well-known and terrifying force that is brought to bear upon your stomach when you eat a day-old serving of mayonnaise. Sweet smelling victory, sweet like the mouth-watering aroma of Hellman's on roast beef, will be his.

Sirkin Bio

Dan "Eric Siskin" Sirkin

Growing up in the mean streets of new york Dan "Eric Siskin" Sirkin, was forced to hustle ping pong games from the Bronx to Brooklyn just to get by.
While his appearence may make you believe his is nothing more than an average ping ponger, Eric's cat-like reflexes, (which earned him the nickname the cat, but which he veteod cause he hates cats) masterful serve, persistent play, and overly tight jeans has allowed him to become one of the strongest players in the world. He is very excited to be invited to the Mercer Street invitational, and hopes to bring the trophy home for all those he has left behind in the projects.