Brish Bio

Liron "The Shekel" Brish

The lobster lives a lonely, secluded life. Perturbed by the racial disharmony of his previous abode in the Jorgal coral reef, the lobster moved out into the open sea three weeks after a heated discussion outside his home that evolved into a violent confrontation between his sister and her two brothers.

So now the lobster lives alone on a previously uninhabited stretch of rock. The rock is about four feet long and two feet wide, just enough for the lobster to have a comfortable, homey living space. The only other inhabitants are several variety of zooplankton and one clam, but the lobster does not talk to either the zooplankton or the clam, and the clam does not discuss its problems with the zooplankton. It is a very quiet neighborhood.

Days have passed, moons have set, and suns have risen, and the lobster continues to live in his home. At this point he has named it Dargantua, and he was planning on having his first conversation with the clam and get its opinion on the name, but the clam’s mantle was closed. So the lobster gwauveled back to its crawl space.

It is now the afternoon and the lobster has decided to once again try to accommodate the neighbor clam in his life. Gwauveling outside, the lobster lets out a few short bursts of air from his rectum, ensuring that he does not have any awkward moments with the clam once they are talking.

But, the clam’s mantle is closed once again. The dear lobster, however, no longer has the patience for solitude. The lonely nights have created a tight belt around the lobster’s happiness, and every additional lonesome day squeezes the belt one more cinch, sometimes two, and last week it was actually five.

His menacing claws stretched above his head, his tentacles wistfully flowing through the water, the lobster belts out a menacing scream. His tail quivers and his legs shake.

The clam, awoken from his slumber, opens his mantle to see what the ruckus is all about. Outside he sees the damned lobster, the one who broke the clam’s near monopoly on the bank of rocks only a few weeks earlier.

“I miss you,” bellows the lobster.

“I as well do not miss you,” retorts the clam.